Ok so I have three goals for this blog.. first off maybe to have a healthier channel to release the huge frusteration I have right now than eating my weight in salty snack foods.. aka Dill Pickle Chips and Chex Mix... So today was my 100th or so appointment with my back specialist guy... quick recap.. months ago a hurt my back or it started hurting.. everyone I talked to said i probably pulled something and it would go away... go away it did not... so i helped people move through the pain, i drunken wrestled through the pain.... I did a lot of other stupid things... all through the pain... I mean Melissa got to hear me piss and whine about it a lot, but I didn't want to be a baby... so finally when I went in I found I have two hyrniated discs... one very severe... sweet... so now my life has consisted of Vicodin and Cordizone shots.... Today I had my most recent appointment which ended in the doctor saying "Stephanie... you're screwed"... well that is not uplifting... so I'm meeting with a back surgeon in a few weeks... a surgery the doctor described as a "crap-shoot" to get rid of my pain. The only other option is to have my back fused... and I'm about 40 years to young... Ok.. So I've decided to take up being a closet alcoholic.. Who knows a good place to get a boot flask?
On to bigger and brighter things... so some of you answered the question I posed for you yesterday... and most of you said the same things I said... Photos, an animal.. things like that.. one of you even said they couldn't think of three.. Well what the professor said was this... our first instinct is to go through our things and take the three that mean the most to us... it's a reflection of inner-self on the items we choose as most valuable. BUT.. the big thing is and what I didn't do either was most of us live with multiple people.... the question I asked was not what three things of your OWN would you grab... I said your house is on fire.. what three things would you save? Most people never think of the other people in the house. The things I took out were
all for me... but I live with two other people who have sentimental and irriplaceable things... but I would take something replaceable of mine over even thinking of them... I don't know it was just really interesting and I was like... whoops.. haha
Ok next topic is something that I want to share that I do and see if there are any other freaks out there.... Obsessive goals.... This is what I mean.. I like to make a list at work.. a to-do list of things I need to complete and when I do I can cross it off with a satisfaction of job well done. I also am very forgetful so I need things in written form to be able to structure myself... But I don't stop there... I make lists and spreadsheets for everything... I love lists... and I also love to make stupid crazy goals... I don't know why I do it... Things like this... I at one time wanted to watch every movie at the video store... So I started in Comedy and literally rented three at a time and watched them... and I got to the C's before I realized this was stupid and I had wasted my time with some of the most horrible movies ever made... I also did this at the library once... But I find myself making such stupid goals that I NEVER finish.... And I never finish them because they are not worth finishing... I guess I feel like I wanted to walk into a video store and announce to whoever I was with... "I have watched EVERY MOVIE IN HERE" and then just as I say that a wind would blow my hair as I put my hand on my hips as a superhero and people would bow before me as being the most wonderful person they have met. Workers from the video store would break into a song and dance medely made in my honor for this occasion.... ugh... . I guess I don't know what my expectation is... but all I know is that it certainly isn't in the relm of any normal persons reality.... My current obsession is debt-management... I have made the largest and most detailed spreadsheet to pay off all my debt... I'm obsessed with it.. and I hope this one lasts.... Another one I have right now is to read every single Oprah Book Club book as fast as I can... so I read and read as fast as I can with some sort of satisfaction of what??? Then I finish the goal and look around... and guess what... NOONE CARES.. Nobody cares that I read Pillars of the Earth (1000 pages) in three days... I mean why can't I just read what I want at a leisurely pace and relax... I am constantly setting some lame goal or list that I need to complete... So... I want to know are there any other freaks out there? Does anyone do anything out of the ordinary... does anyone have a weird fetish like mine... my secret weird list-making overly competitive with myself obsessions... Let me know... make me feel better... please....
Jake's 9th Birthday!!
6 years ago
3 comments:
I think that you and Helmey will get along good
Sorry about your back. I guess I won't ask you to help me move next weekend. Lol
You're a freak and I've known that for a long time. You make me laugh with the strange shit you do. You are a bit obsessive. Like how you will play one song over and over and over on guitar hero until you have mastered it even if you spend hours and hours doing it.
I think you need to relax and maybe get some therapy. Lol
I still luv ya though
Looks like I was the one unselfish one who wanted to get Aindi's stuff out...haha! Although I do have 2 other roommates besides her and didn't think about helping them out, I wonder what that means?
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